The days following my nightmare seemed as if they all blurred into one, long bit of existence. It wasn't that I was trying to forget her, I just found the memory so painful that going back there....re-living that horrid night wasn't something I thought I ever would have to do. Exhausted, I picked myself up and decided to to put the images that broke my heart away, deep inside where no one, not even I could reach them. There was only one problem. I had no control over what my mind did at night. With this realization, I made a promise to myself that I would not fall asleep. I wouldn't close my eyes after the lights dimmed, not for a split second. I would nap while Baby B was close by. I would catnap when Arly was playing some tunes and I could pretend to close my eyes and listen. I simply wouldn't sleep at night.....sleeping was not an option.
It was close to three days before Arly realized that something wasn't right. Maybe it was the fact that my rusted eyelids started creaking and actually closing every now and then or maybe it was the fact that I would daze off in the middle of a conversation. Regardless, Arly knew something was up and I wasn't sure if hiding the fact that I was afraid to go back to sleep was a great idea. As much as I wanted to say something, to fall out and tell her what I had remembered, I knew that if I did there would be many more questions than I was prepared to answer. You see, there was much more at stake here than just recalling a bad time. If I agreed to tell the truth, especially the truth as it seemed to be imprinted in my mind, I would be putting Arly in danger as well as Baby B. I had already lived this nightmare once. There was no way I was willing to live it again, and if that meant keeping the truth a secret, then that is what I was prepared to do.
Arly insisted that we go to bed early because I think she was wising up on my effort to avoid getting some shut eye. Secretly I had wondered if Baby B had ratted me out, but she made no mention of it which is unlike her, so I just decided that my face must have given it away. Three separate times today I was able to get a bit of sleep so I figured tonight would be a piece of cake. Baby B and I headed to bed, pulled back the handmade quilt that Arly had made for us, and crawled into bed. As soon as I heard the faint whisper of Baby B's snoring I opened my eyes and started counting the faces that I found in the wooden planked ceiling. I could do this for hours and it helped me pass the night away. As I began to count though I heard a strange noise coming from the other room. It was as if there was a radio playing but somehow it lost its signal and the music turned to garbled noise. It wasn't loud, but if I got up to check it out I was worried that Arly might hear me, so instead, I just lay there trying to put it out of my mind. Cautiously, I looked up at the moonlight across the ceiling and saw the number 17 appear as if from now where. There was the face of a monkey in the moon and one rather regal looking ant with a crown and a collar. My eyes kept getting heavy. I opened them, held them open with my fingers, but as quickly as I did that....
Flashback Part II
11 steps to the bottom of the staircase was what I remembered and as he took a step on the first one the board creaked as if it were crying out in pain. There were small cracks in steps three and four which gave me and Angel Face a chance to see a tiny bear paw imprint on the bottom of his shoe. I knew this print all too well as it showed up on Angel Face's back occasionally, only backwards. She gripped my face ever so tightly, and as he began to move towards the tenth step a shiny, flicker of light flashed in the corner of my eye. It was a the tip of an ice pick which had fallen behind an old crate which Paw Paw used to use when he would get a bunch of block ice delivered. Angel Face saw it too and as she reached out to grab it with her tiny fingers the light caught the bracelet her mamma gave her in just the right way to make it glow like a moonbeam. It was too late. He had seen us, but not before she was able to grab the ice pick and conceal it under her sleeve. Ten Fingers reached out and grabbed her by the nape of her neck. As she screamed she dropped me, and I lay there unable to move with my eyes wide open and able to see everything. It was in this split second that I saw three things: the tip of the ice pick followed by what seemed like buckets of blood, Angel Face's bracelet shattered on the floor beside me, and Robin's Egg blue paint flown in my direction. After that, the lights went out.
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It was close to three days before Arly realized that something wasn't right. Maybe it was the fact that my rusted eyelids started creaking and actually closing every now and then or maybe it was the fact that I would daze off in the middle of a conversation. Regardless, Arly knew something was up and I wasn't sure if hiding the fact that I was afraid to go back to sleep was a great idea. As much as I wanted to say something, to fall out and tell her what I had remembered, I knew that if I did there would be many more questions than I was prepared to answer. You see, there was much more at stake here than just recalling a bad time. If I agreed to tell the truth, especially the truth as it seemed to be imprinted in my mind, I would be putting Arly in danger as well as Baby B. I had already lived this nightmare once. There was no way I was willing to live it again, and if that meant keeping the truth a secret, then that is what I was prepared to do.
Arly insisted that we go to bed early because I think she was wising up on my effort to avoid getting some shut eye. Secretly I had wondered if Baby B had ratted me out, but she made no mention of it which is unlike her, so I just decided that my face must have given it away. Three separate times today I was able to get a bit of sleep so I figured tonight would be a piece of cake. Baby B and I headed to bed, pulled back the handmade quilt that Arly had made for us, and crawled into bed. As soon as I heard the faint whisper of Baby B's snoring I opened my eyes and started counting the faces that I found in the wooden planked ceiling. I could do this for hours and it helped me pass the night away. As I began to count though I heard a strange noise coming from the other room. It was as if there was a radio playing but somehow it lost its signal and the music turned to garbled noise. It wasn't loud, but if I got up to check it out I was worried that Arly might hear me, so instead, I just lay there trying to put it out of my mind. Cautiously, I looked up at the moonlight across the ceiling and saw the number 17 appear as if from now where. There was the face of a monkey in the moon and one rather regal looking ant with a crown and a collar. My eyes kept getting heavy. I opened them, held them open with my fingers, but as quickly as I did that....
Flashback Part II
11 steps to the bottom of the staircase was what I remembered and as he took a step on the first one the board creaked as if it were crying out in pain. There were small cracks in steps three and four which gave me and Angel Face a chance to see a tiny bear paw imprint on the bottom of his shoe. I knew this print all too well as it showed up on Angel Face's back occasionally, only backwards. She gripped my face ever so tightly, and as he began to move towards the tenth step a shiny, flicker of light flashed in the corner of my eye. It was a the tip of an ice pick which had fallen behind an old crate which Paw Paw used to use when he would get a bunch of block ice delivered. Angel Face saw it too and as she reached out to grab it with her tiny fingers the light caught the bracelet her mamma gave her in just the right way to make it glow like a moonbeam. It was too late. He had seen us, but not before she was able to grab the ice pick and conceal it under her sleeve. Ten Fingers reached out and grabbed her by the nape of her neck. As she screamed she dropped me, and I lay there unable to move with my eyes wide open and able to see everything. It was in this split second that I saw three things: the tip of the ice pick followed by what seemed like buckets of blood, Angel Face's bracelet shattered on the floor beside me, and Robin's Egg blue paint flown in my direction. After that, the lights went out.
NEXT POST
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